iLazy-abs iLove the iJoy Ride

‘Excuse me, what in God’s name is that monstrosity?’

That is what first crosses my mind when I see the iJoy Ride by Human Touch – ‘…perhaps it facilitates some kind of sensory stimulation…stimulation that should occur in private? Ummm…I believe I should keep my mouth shut not draw attention to this to right now! Maybe I should look away, or down, anywhere but there!’

‘Oh doesn’t it look just like a sex toy or something’ giggles my beau’s mummy cheekily as she elbows me in the ribs. I practically burst into tears of laughter and feel so blessed to have such a wonderful boyfriend whose parents are equally fabulous –not to mention a laugh a minute!

‘Actually, its great exercise and its so easy’ Di explains to us between giggles. Apparently, you’re supposed to drop a dress size in a month – if your overweight – just use it for just 15 minutes a day. The iJoy Ride tones up the abs, the obliques, the lumbar and the hips, giving you the ultimate core torso. Wow, it does sound easy, I’m almost taken in.

The beau looks sceptical, though. Still, the iLazy-abs in him knows that jogging and even swimming at the gym just to get his cardio in is chore-and-a-half – especially everyday for the beach-body rush – and so he visibly lights up when Di says we can borrow the ‘sex-machine’ for a few weeks to try it out.

‘Oh God’ I think ‘I do not want that thing in my living room…Oh God, and there’s the carrying it in to the apartment, people might that think we have weird fetishes or medical problems! Already strange enough, do we need to draw anymore attention to ourselves?’

When I share my reservations with the beau he strikes a pose and jokingly chides ‘you’ll see when I have the sexiest, buffest abs!’

Of course, I let it happen, it was inevitable!

Sunday evening, the bucking-bronco-esque saddle awaits; on jumps the beau and off he goes - seductive it is not! But it is so hilarious that I fall off the sofa – I think when laughing turns painful it must be doing a heck of good to the abs anyway, so perhaps I will refrain from riding the stallion tonight!

On Monday evening I am a little restless and decide that fifteen minutes of relax-ercise could be beneficial! I am in fits of giggles in no time at all, iJoy seems to stimulate more than just your abs – and in some warped way I can certainly imagine the impact it could have if one were to accessorise the iJoy with a rampant rabbit!

By Thursday, the hilarity has far from subsided and so mid-way through the beau’s ride, I throw myself into the front of the saddle to join him. Our sides are splitting but somehow we coherently agree that the iJoy could revolutionise any couple’s sex life at the touch of a button. Lets please not go down that road though!

After a week of –partially- taking turns on the iJoy in front of Gavin & Stacey and laughing till I fear I may pee, I don’t think I see a difference, yet! But I certainly feel the ab-burn after fifteen minutes of iJoy riding in a giggling fit.